The Date.

SET: in a coffee shop/park/food court/any of the above. hell, take your pick. or just make something up.

CHARACTERS:

Male: (Age 18, but any age will do.)

Female: (See Male.)

(Their thought translation)

our two protagonists sit across/are standing/are walking/(insert movement here) next to each other. This is near the end of their date. They like each other in a dangerous way, a way that neither of them have ever felt before. Their conversation is in progress.

F: So. Um... How is life? (Jesus, what a stupid question. This "date" is like halfway over, and I ask him how his life is? Shee-it.)

M: Pretty good, pretty good. (Damn. What did I just say that? Obviously I am good, I am more than good. I established that a while ago, why couldn't I have said something different? Oh, Lord. I think she thinks I think I should say something else. Quick, something witty!) Because I am with you, that is. (Oh, what the hell did I just say? Now she thinks I am some sort of loser suing my loser pick up lines, trying to seduce someone who I don't deserve. Way to go, Romeo.)

F: Oh! Good! (Oh Christ. He just said that because I said such a stupid question. Stupid questions deserve fake answers. Maybe I can salvage this some how. Quick, Go Go Go!) Um.

(Shit.)

M: Um. (Shit.)

-AWKWARD SILENCE-

F: (I better say something so he doesn't think I am socially retarded.)

M: (I better say something so she thinks I am not socially retarded.)

M/F: So-

M/F: No, Go ahead.

M/F: You first.

M/F: (There has gotta be an easier way to do this. If only I knew what s/he was thinking... Christ.)

M: So, I was thinking... (Way to go, Einstein.)

F: Yeah? (Way to go, Savant)

M: I would kind of, well, um. Ha ha (WHY AM I SO AWKWARD?)

F: Go on...! (I hope that didn't come off as '50s house wife. because I am not that kind of girl.)

M: I had a really good time. (I had a good time. But I don't know if she even likes me.)

F: I had a really good time too. (I had a good time, but he thinks I am an ass, so I guess this was just a waste of his time.)

M: So, I guess I will see you. (Shit. Like she even wants to see me anymore, after I acted like a COMPLETE MORON)

F: Not if I don't see you first! Hahahahahaha. Heh. (So much for that second date...)

M: Bye! (Bye, forever.)

F: Bye! (Bye, forever.)

M/F: (FML.)

Is there a moral to this tale?