Hooters: A Journey (Part 1)

A month or two ago, I turned 18. And I had no idea what to do.

So I figured I would do what most well adjusted 18 year old do on their 18th birthday.

T & A FTW.

But of course this would take a lot of planning and determination. And there was no way I would do this alone, sitting in a corner with a party hat. I had to do this carefully, so as not to ruin it. So I enlisted some help with my friends Ninja Edwards, and Schooley, friends who understood and even suggested the idea in the first place.

Schooley suggested Hooters, because it was pretty tame, and it was a transition. We would work our way up to free pizza day at the local strip club. Plus, we heard the wings were pretty damn tasty.

So we put on our sunglasses and headed out on our adventure. Hooters took a while to get there, and when we arrived in the crowded parking lot, we were greeted with the beautiful sight of a fat man taking his shirt off in the parking lot. His body hair was majestic, and it was a great way to start off a potential dinner. Imagine, looking at that before you had a chance to have some tasty wings! MMMMM!

The Hooters was located next to a now defunct Christian store, specializing in Spanish Bibles.

Laughs were had. Who reads anymore?

We entered the restaurant, and it was very crowded. It was a fight night, apparently. No one came to our aid, so we poked around a bit.

We found hoola hoops.

A woman came up to us!

"45 minute wait, y'all sure you want to stick around?" She said, the words coming out of her hot pink lips.

"...Yes." Schooley said defiantly.

"Can I get a name for y'all?"

The panic set in. What alias were we going to use?

"Sandra." Said Ninja.

When she left, we huddled. Did we really want to stick around?

No.

It was too crowded, and we were too hungry. And it wasn't even wet t-shirt day.

So we left, and as I looked back, I saw the little waitress in her orange shorts running to serve wings to her hungry male customer.

I also saw a mother with her child.

So this restaurant is not just for the men, but it is a family dining establishment!

Someday, we will be bold enough to eat a wing.

Someday, we may even have the glory to work there!

But until then, the Cheesecake factory will do.