Haiku Non Review

Haiku non-reviews- will not be very pretty. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

(Todays theme is from the popular Disney film, Mulan)

To defeat the Huns,

We must get down to business

And dress like a boy.

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Who is this girl here,

I see in the reflection?

I should be a dude.

---

I have a dragon,

He is my guardian pet,

But he is tiny.

---

Cri-key is so cute

he reminds me of Pascal

and his little tongue.

---

Look down, then look up.

I am on a big black horse.

Sadly, you are not.

---

Girls worth fighting for,

will love me for who I am.

Just kidding! I'm fat.

---

Girls worth fighting for

won't be there after the war.

Forever alone!

---

The dark side of the moon

is super mysterious.

It's a mystery!

---

The little blossom

will turn into a big man,

but how does it work?

---

Here's your only chance

to bring honor to us all.

Please don't fuck this up.

---

Remember the doll

that Mulan found in the snow?

That was super sad.

---

Li Shang is a babe.

Too bad I look like a boy.

I will seduce him.

---

My only buddies

are fat, scrawny and ugly.

I'm a cross-dresser.

---

Yo momma's so fat

that the Great Wall of China

cannot contain her.

---

I dishonored you,

but I saved the emperor.

I should get high fives!

---

I will defeat you,

you macroscopical Hun

with my little fan.

---

If I were a boy

I would look like Mulan does

because she kicks ass.