Harry Potter and the Lost Chapter.

*Takes place after the epilogue in Deathly Hallows*

EPILOGUE, PART II

Harry awoke with a start. he sat up swiftly, and slammed his head onto the low ceiling.

"What the..." he said, and coughed as he inhaled a cloud of dust. He brushed a spider off of his shoulder wearily, and fumbled around in the dark until he found his old broken glasses, and the doorknob to let him out of his tiny room.

He tumbled out from his room under the staircase, and brushed some more dust off of his too-large T-shirt.

"What is wrong with you, boy!" Barked Uncle Vernon.

"Duddikens ate your birthday pancake, because you were too lazy to get up for your 12th birthday!" Said Aunt Petunia from the kitchen.

"I won't beat you this time. Consider that your birthday present." Uncle Vernon growled, who was a beautiful shade of purple today,

A wave of dissappointment hit Harry.

"I just had the most marvelous dream..." He began, with stars in his eyes.

"Shut up, boy, and do the dishes." Vernon yelled.

Harry sighed, and tried to hang onto the last remnants of his glorious dream as he sadly rolled up his sleeves.

THE END.

The Little ATV That Couldn't (A Cautionary Tale)

ONCE UPON A TIME...There lived three girls (Yours truly, Snow White, and Schooley) who traveled to the far away, magical place of Monroe. Monroe was in the country side, you see, and they desperately wanted to escape the fabulous life of the city to go on an ADVENTURE.
This time, an ADVENTURE meant switching from the safe confines of their car, to the not-so-safe confines of an ATV. The not-so-safe part meant that their adventure was sure to be extremely fun an magical! Like riding a T-Rex over a double rainbow! WOAH.
So they all piled on the back of the 1984 ATV, and were off to explore the land!
Schooley, who had experience in ATVing, took the reins, and started the vehicle."Rr-r-r-r-r. Rr-r-r-r-r. Rr-r-r-r-r-rVRRRROOOOMMMM" Said the ATV!The girls laughed. The ATV was so funny! So they rode off into the sunset, and besides the occasional bug that stuck their smiling faces, the trip was as smooth as Nutella.
Until...
They went to see the miniature unicorns a mile or so down from the Palace, on the Main Road. The Main Road was different than the Back Road the girls were previously riding on. Sure, they met an occasional automobile, but they would get to the side of the road, no problem. "Rrrrrr-r-r-rm." Said the ATV, so Schooley pulled over to a neighboring castle to give the poor little ATV a break."How long do we have to wait?" Said Snow White."Until the ATV is good and ready. Shouldn't take long, eh?"The ATV was silent. The girls waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally, the girls noticed the guards looking at them through the stained glass windows, so they decided to get going. Schooley attempted to start the ATV."Vrr-r-r-r-r. Vrr-r-r-r-r. Vr-Vr-Vr-Vr-Vr""Oh no!" The girls exclaimed.Schooley tried again, but the ATV refused to move.

The girls looked at each other, and knew they were doomed.

"Come on! You can do it! I BELIEVE in you!" I said, as Schooley attempted to start the engine up.

"Vr-r-r-r-r-r." was the last thing the little ATV could say, before it succumbed to it's own personal illness.

The girls sat there for a minute.

"Well, this sucks." said Snow White.

The only option was to push the ATV all the way home.

The girls learned a valuable lesson that day.

The Moral? Depression wins. Every. Single. Time. Just give up, because no matter how hard you try, it will never be good enough. You are doomed to fail.

And they lived happily ever after!

The Date.

SET: in a coffee shop/park/food court/any of the above. hell, take your pick. or just make something up.

CHARACTERS:

Male: (Age 18, but any age will do.)

Female: (See Male.)

(Their thought translation)

our two protagonists sit across/are standing/are walking/(insert movement here) next to each other. This is near the end of their date. They like each other in a dangerous way, a way that neither of them have ever felt before. Their conversation is in progress.

F: So. Um... How is life? (Jesus, what a stupid question. This "date" is like halfway over, and I ask him how his life is? Shee-it.)

M: Pretty good, pretty good. (Damn. What did I just say that? Obviously I am good, I am more than good. I established that a while ago, why couldn't I have said something different? Oh, Lord. I think she thinks I think I should say something else. Quick, something witty!) Because I am with you, that is. (Oh, what the hell did I just say? Now she thinks I am some sort of loser suing my loser pick up lines, trying to seduce someone who I don't deserve. Way to go, Romeo.)

F: Oh! Good! (Oh Christ. He just said that because I said such a stupid question. Stupid questions deserve fake answers. Maybe I can salvage this some how. Quick, Go Go Go!) Um.

(Shit.)

M: Um. (Shit.)

-AWKWARD SILENCE-

F: (I better say something so he doesn't think I am socially retarded.)

M: (I better say something so she thinks I am not socially retarded.)

M/F: So-

M/F: No, Go ahead.

M/F: You first.

M/F: (There has gotta be an easier way to do this. If only I knew what s/he was thinking... Christ.)

M: So, I was thinking... (Way to go, Einstein.)

F: Yeah? (Way to go, Savant)

M: I would kind of, well, um. Ha ha (WHY AM I SO AWKWARD?)

F: Go on...! (I hope that didn't come off as '50s house wife. because I am not that kind of girl.)

M: I had a really good time. (I had a good time. But I don't know if she even likes me.)

F: I had a really good time too. (I had a good time, but he thinks I am an ass, so I guess this was just a waste of his time.)

M: So, I guess I will see you. (Shit. Like she even wants to see me anymore, after I acted like a COMPLETE MORON)

F: Not if I don't see you first! Hahahahahaha. Heh. (So much for that second date...)

M: Bye! (Bye, forever.)

F: Bye! (Bye, forever.)

M/F: (FML.)

Is there a moral to this tale?